Sometimes I miss the old me.  Times when friends ask me questions I cannot answer.   I don't remember things I use to know.   The names of animals, the names of places.   The file cabinet which was once my brain has gotten smaller.   The draws are jamed shut.   Closed to me forever.

I use to remember things, lots of things.  How to repair something, the words I read in a book.   I use to be able to put a book down at night, pick it up the next morning and just know where I left off.   Now, not so much.  Now, I don't remember what page I was on.  Even reading back a little from where I THINK I left off. 

Now I need not just a bookmark.  But to underline where I was.   I have always scribbled in my books, left myself notes, reminders that something is important, or I wanted to save a comment.  But now, I need those notes to understand what I was reading. 

I am still smart, just no longer the smartest person in the room.   I did not realize until recently how important it was for me to be the smartest person in the room.   No longer being the smartest, makes me sad. 

I have lost a little bit of my brain, and a lot of my life.